THE MINIROCKERS - the hottest virtual comic pop band in the world

We, THE MINIROCKERS were formed after the 1st International Reality-TV-Superstar-Comic-Pop-Band Contest in January 2006. We are still quite untalented and cannot sing, dance or write songs of course, but our producer says, that´s okay, there´s still loads of money in it. Even our producer is quite untalented, he never managed to learn an instrument properly, so he makes all the music on boring Computers, which is quite easy, he says...

We are the next big thing. We love the popbusiness with all its commercial beauty and glamour. And our producer says, that it´s not really about the song or talent, but rather about a product and an image being sold to the "global youth village" and about gaining a lot of synergy effects with all those great labels and Global Players. That´s why we include them in all our symbolic-colourful music videos...

We are, due to economic reasons of course, a really multinational band (we come from the US, South America, Czech Republic and the UK), our music style and image was designed by our producer for an exactly calculated market, we believe this is hip and trendy, which is true. Our producer told us to adapt our lives to a nice, colourful, bubble-gum-smile cliche, this is tough work, so please give us a record deal!!

Virtual Comic Band sounds a bit unreal at first, but you should be able to follow our lives, our music careers, our solo-attempts and our scandals in the media world, our and your one and only reality. That´s why "B Lo" is just as real as J Lo and 5Cent bigger than 50 Cent. We are (virtual?) Superstars, but we still have all sorts of typical human problems...sex, drugs, rock and roll, scandals, failed relationships, bad music, meaningless consumerism, intrigues, fights in the band anf all that stuff. But thats life...

So join US, the greatest bittersweet-bubblegum-subversion-pop-merchandise-rock´n´roll-swindle-band ever, we can´t wait to sell out Wembley and Madison Square Garden, performing the greatest pop-music-cover-versions in 3d-Stereo. Nothing´s gonna stop us now, we already MINIrock...

CVs

Kylie Herzigova

- born in Prague 3, Zizkov, Czech Republic.
- since her first shopping-mall-experience in late 1989, after the communist regime broke down, addicted to shopping in a free and democratic country!! .
- several affairs with football players from Slavia Praha, Sparta Praha, Slovan Liberec, FK Teplice, FK Mlada Boleslav, Marila Pribram, Sigma Olomouc, FC Viktoria Pilsen, FC Slovácko and Vysocina Jihlava
- sales assistant at Victoria´s Secret and H&M.
- loves music since January 2006
- hobbies: shopping at Harrods, fun with Nokia mobile-phones, beauty with Nivea, pets and petting.
- favourite Music: Karel Gott (the early works)
- favourite Film: Dirty Dancing

Robbie Gallagher

- born in Dundee, Scotland
- kicked out of Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design, Dundee (course: Animation and Electronic Media)
- unemployed for more than 8 years now
- likes pubs, his mates, a nice pint of Guinness or two, Kilkennys or Jack Daniel´s.
- loves singing since January 2006
- would like to have several affairs with Paris and/or Nicky Hilton, and the Glasgow Rangers
- Hobbies: shopping, fun with McDonalds, beauty with Calvin Klein, Nike sports-wear.
- favourite film: "One night in Paris", which he watched over 300 times!!

Britney Lopez aka B-Lo

- born in San Juan, Puerto Rico; here mum brought her to the US and raised her in Louisville-Kentucky. Lives now in and loves L.A.
- several very tiny appearences in american daily soaps
- several tiny affairs with some of the better Latin American Musicians
- loves music since January 2006
- hobbies: shopping at WalMart, fun at Kentucky Fried Chicken, beauty with L´oreal
- favourite Music: Julio and Enrique Iglesias, Ricky Martin, Dixie Chicks

5 Cent

- born in Jamaica, raised in the Bronx, NYC, where he was shot 8 times, but he´s a tough guy and survived!!!
- loves Crackers
- sale´s assistant at Burger King Drive In´s and Macy´s, NYC
- loves singing since January 2006
- hobbies: shopping at Macy´s and Niketown, fun at Starbucks Coffee, Reebok shoes and Adidas sports wear, weapons.
- favourite Music: 2Pac, Biggy, Wu Tang Clan, Run DMC, N.W.A.

So, if you like, what you read, please give us a record deal !!!

copyright 2007 by Britney Lopez, 5 Cent, Robbie Gallagher and Kylie Herzigova